We would never have had horror movies if there weren’t such dumb groups of friends, and i’m particulary talking about House of Wax and Texas Chainsaw Massacre
let’s all say thank u to the dumb horny teens in horror movies otherwise Jason wouldn’t be seen enough
I SWEAR they’re all fucking around and running straight into danger– AND THEY’RE ALL DISREPECTFUL LIKE- FOR WHAT??
TRUE who tf though it was a great idea to meds into somebody’s house where a family was MURDERED???
Or like, who tf thought it was a good idea to enter a fucking “house of wax” in an OBVIOUSLY weird ass city ??? AND TRY TO BURN THE WAX STATUES—
maturing is realizing that emojis and emoticons can coexist….. an emoji cannot express the feeling of :) and an emoticon cannot express the feeling of 😳. #peaceandlove
responses to “which is bigger, my butt or my personality?”
ft. shanks, ace, usopp, law, zoro
a/n: again saw couples doing this in tiktok and the possible replies I thought of for these one piece characters cracked me up!!! PLS I JUST NEED MY ASS TO BE APPRECIATED 😭😭😭 please enjoy x
YouandShanks: *trapped in a closet because Benn got tired of your shenanigans and locked the two of you in there*
Shanks: *has his face buried in your chest* I’m not doing this on purpose, I swear, I’m too tall to stand up properly in here.
You: *wraps your arms around him and pulls him closer and chuckles* it’s alright captain, I don’t mind.
Shanks: *feels his heart swell happily at your loving tone and soft touch, making him sink into you further*
You: *giggles and begins to stroke his hair* such a good boy
Shanks: oh, if you do that I’m going to fall asleep
You: then fall asleep darling *starts to hum softly*
Shanks: *tentatively wraps his arm around you and pulls your hips against his stomach*
Twenty minutes later
Benn: *opens the closet* you two learn your lesson? … Is he asleep?
Shanks: *grumbles sleepily* I was close to it *stands up and pulls himself out of the closet come on you, I want a nap *pulls you along behind him*
Two weeks later
You: *lounging on the couch in the living room area*
Shanks: hey… Can I ? *Gestures to your chest*
You: come ‘ere big guy
Shanks: *crawls onto the couch and nestles himself under your arm so he can rest his head on your chest*
Yassop: oh look it, Boss ’s got the best pillow on the ship.
You: shh let him rest please
A month later
Shanks: *sitting at your feet with his head on your chest*
You: *dozing in your chair while stroking his hair*
Yassop: They looks like they’re going to fall asleep sitting up together
Benn: they can’t be that comfortable,
Yassop: I don’t know, (y/n) wears all those baggy clothes, so we can really see their figure clearly. Maybe they have more meat on them than it looks.
Benn: I'mma find out, hey (y/n) got room for one more?
You: what?
Shanks: *tugs you into his lap and protects you from Benn joining*
You: *wraps your legs around Shanks’s waist* boys I swear to the gods
Benn: *pulls on Shanks* don’t be so stingy, fucking share (y/n). They have two sides of their chest, I can have one.
Shanks: fuck off, they’re both mine.
Benn: *pauses for a minute* they’ve really got you by the short and curlies, don’t they?
Shanks: *sighs* yeah
You: *blearily glowering at them both from Shanks’s lap*
Shanks: *brushes some of your hair out of your face* go to sleep little bird.
Three months later
Shanks: *tossing and turning in bed, because he can’t sleep and he can’t sleep because he can’t get comfortable, and he gets frustrated enough he just heads to the kitchens to get some sake, but stops in front of your door and knocks* (y/n) you awake?
You: *stumble out of bed and answer* Captain, it’s three in the morning
Shanks: I know, I can’t sleep
You: I can, good night
Shanks: *grabs the door before you can close it* please come sleep with me, I seem to only get good sleep with you near.
You: *sighs and gestures for him to pick you up*
Shanks: *scoops you up and carries you to his room and throws you onto the bed*
You: *pulls his blankets over the both of you as he crawls in and nuzzles his face into your chest* good night sweet man
Shanks: night *is asleep in the next five minutes*
KINKTOBER Day 14 Pairing: Crocodile x male Reader CW: explicit nsfw content, size difference, anal sex (Reader receiving), very slight sub/dom undertones, biting (Crocodile receiving) Word Count: 561 A/N: Original ask was asking for a short, bottoming partner, so I followed this pattern.
Pulsing warmth of his cock is truly fascinating. No matter how many times you’ve already jerked him off, it still leaves you in awe—its size, each engorged vein so palpable against your palm, the head slick with precum and lube you’re patiently spreading all over his length… You sigh with pleasure as Crocodile throbs in your hold. He’s so big and excited for you.
Oh honey, you mentioned two of my favorite boys - YOU’RE GETTING BOTH! I hope you’re ready ~
Btw, to my followers, I know for HCs I usually use “they/them/partner/lover/etc.” but for this one I decided to use “you” - let me know which you prefer! Also, if I have issues with the #nsfw tag and tumblr again, I might change what I label as nsfw, so be on the lookout for that!
Phew, I was getting real hot writing these for you! Enjoy, my sinners
(( WARNING: HEAVY NSFW ))
HCs Relationship NSFW (Kid, Law)
Kid:
- this guy is a walking sex machine
- he can go for it anywhere, anyhow, anytime, so you better be prepared
- rough, dirty, and primal sex is all he knows - don’t come at him with all that romantic bullshit
- if he’s gonna fuck you, he’s gonna fuck you hard till your legs are just jelly beneath you
- his stamina is off the charts - can go like three rounds before he gives in
- his fav positions are doggy style, reverse cowgirl, or bending you over literally anything
- Kid is a total ass man; he likes to get a view of that delicious ass of yours
- which goes to show he will do anything to the booty - anal, fingering, eating you out, etc. he has no shame in worshiping the booty
- he also enjoys 69ing if your body lengths will allow it
- likes to see you on your knees deep-throating his dick until you’re choking; he’ll grab big handfuls of your hair and just fuck your face telling you over and over how good you are
- “Fuck, you suck me so good baby…”
- likes it when you fan his flaming ego while being fucked
- “Who’s fucking you so good, huh? Scream it for me. Let everyone know who is fucking your brains out.”
- “You like taking this big dick, don’t you babydoll?”
- loves when you are vocal and tell him how good he’s doing
- loud as fuck in bed, it’s rather embarrassing, but he’ll also murder anyone who makes fun of him for it
- not into being called daddy fr
- just call him Kid or captain and that’s enough to quicken his relentless pace
- a total power top
- rarely bottoms, but when he does, he’s of course a power bottom as well
- for the majority of the time, he has to be in charge
- he’ll let you take control every now and then, but it never lasts long
- he does not like being restrained
- he’s a pretty kinky guy and is into choking you or using gags - he loves hearing your muffled, desperate screams of pleasure
- he also has come to love being slapped around a bit?? it fuels his adrenaline and makes for some wild sex; only if you are comfortable with it, of course, but you better not tell anyone!
- expect lots of scratching, biting, hair-pulling, spanking, and choking when having sex with Kid; you’ll be a bruised, aching mess in the end, but oh so satisfied
- on the flip side, there are times when Kid is tired but still wants to have sex
- this is when sex is calmer - still not overly romantic - but just lazy, ‘I want to make you feel good’ sex
- he is sorta gentler then, and his pace is slower - this is when he really takes his time to learn about you; and tease the hell out of you
- he’s not really that selfish in bed - he definitely wants you to feel good as well!
- it really damages his ego when he can’t make you come, but no worries - he’ll just work harder next time
- speaking of cumming, Kid loves it if you were to swallow (no mess to clean up!); but if not, he prefers to cum all over your chest or ass with your permission
- prefers receiving oral rather than giving, only because he’s still learning and he’s just too rough sometimes
- he’s experienced sure, but he acts like he is way more experienced than he actually is smh
- after your sessions, Kid will tell you how great you were, how hot the sex was, etc.
- there’s some pillow talk, but it’s honestly not too much until he passes out with his arm around you, pulling you close
- he’s unknowingly extra cuddly after sex
Law:
- you wouldn’t think it, but Law gets super turned on by public sex
- he loves to pull you into the bathroom or the kitchen and just fuck you right there against the wall knowing that anyone could walk in any second
- he’ll cover your mouth with his tattooed hands, muffling your moans while he pounds fiercely into you
- quickies are really the only time Law is super primal, which really doesn’t happen that often; only when he’s feeling particularly scandalous
- regular sex with Law is desperate, lustful, and passionate
- a relentlessly teasing partner, it’s almost sadistic; he doesn’t know when to stop!
- he’ll have you on the verge of full blown tears before he gives you what you’ve been asking for; it’s such a turn on to be so desperately needed
- which goes without saying that Law is super into you begging for him
- he wants you to tell him exactly what you want
- your flustered face is just too cute
- “You look so cute begging for me, (Y/N)-ya.”
- “Tell me exactly what you want and I’ll give it to you~”
- doesn’t call you any names and doesn’t want to be called any himself
- your own personal names are intimate enough; plus he gets super turned on hearing you whine his name
- his fav positions are the butterfly, the pretzel, or any intimate position where you can maintain eye contact
- he loves to see his your flushed face - your cheeks all puffy, the desire in your eyes, the sweat in your disheveled hair, your mouth open moaning out his name…it’s all such a turn on for him
- this man being a doctor, he definitely knows his stuff
- he doesn’t have to be experienced (tbh he’s not really) but he knows all of the zones and just how to please you
- dangerously skilled with those long, slender fingers of his…he’ll have you cumming all over his hand easily within minutes of foreplay!
- all of foreplay with Law is almost just as good as actual sex!
- he’s a slut for sucking dick; a total pro at deep-throating
- Law is a switch; he can equally enjoy dominating and being dominated
- enjoys using restraints and blindfolds, but nothing too complicated
- when you top him, he’ll tease you heavily with that devilish smirk of his
- “You like seeing me beneath you, huh (Y/N)-ya? Do you like having me under your control? I’m all yours, do as you wish~”
- and you just give up every. single. time.
- how are you supposed to take control when he’s tempting you so badly??
- Law doesn’t find sex embarrassing in the least bit; he knows all the bodily functions and sounds can be kinda gross but it doesn’t bother him in the slightest
- he just loves bonding with you, he recognizes the emotional impact of sex
- which is why he doesn’t just have sex with anyone
- unfortunately, Law’s sex drive is pretty low
- this man is constantly stressed and tends to only focus on one thing at a time; making love to you is sometimes the last thing on his mind
- he tries to make it up to you with lengthy, passionate sessions that leave you fully satisfied and unable to walk for a little while…
- after sex, he always reminds you to pee afterwards (this is important people!) and he will help you change the sheets or whatever you wanna do to clean up
- if it’s not too late in the day/night, he likes to finish off with a hot bath where you two just relax and scrub each other clean
- some times things get too sensual and you go another round in the shower, but hey, you’ll easily clean up afterwards!
- Law hardly sleeps as it is, so he’ll engage in pillow talk with you until you fall asleep
- he loves to watch your eyes slowly flutter closed and drift off to slumber
- depending on how exerting the session was, he might fall asleep soon after
- if not, he’ll hold you for a little longer until he slips away back to his office to get back to work
